


The Fearsome Lunataks

by Knave_Iespyk



Category: Darkwing Duck (Cartoon), Thundercats
Genre: F/M, Humour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-30
Updated: 2010-08-30
Packaged: 2017-10-11 08:49:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/110576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Knave_Iespyk/pseuds/Knave_Iespyk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Fearsome Five are swept from their dimension to Third Earth where they meet unexpected allies against the forces of good.  Can they set their differences aside or will the differences cause conflict?  Or both?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Fearsome Lunataks

How had it come to this? Whatever and wherever 'this' was. One minute he, the brilliant if misunderstood scientist known as Bushroot, had been helping his fellow Fearsome Five in their latest get-rich-quick scheme, an assault on a S.H.U.S.H. lab they'd discovered, the next they were here. Some evil looking forest in the middle of a lava field. Was such a thing even possible? He supposed it was, given that he had to believe what his eyes were telling him.

Of course, the answer to 'how' was easy. Darkwing Duck. He'd made his grand entrance, comparing himself to a piece of spinach stuck in your teeth. Bushroot supposed that he was implying that he was just as hard to get rid of, only that wasn't true. Being a master of all vegetable matter, Bushroot could simply ask the spinach to get out and it probably would, assuming he would eat one of his kin in the first place.

Negaduck, Darkwing's polar opposite, had made a witty retort about Darkwing's lack of intelligence... and spinach. The costumed do-gooder jumped at them, colliding with a very expensive looking piece of machinery. The room had been filled with light in that instant. Bushroot had felt weightless, drifting through the light and had landed with an unceremonious splat in the thick of this forest. Well, there were answers to be had, and he had the know-how. Placing one leafy hand on a tree trunk he extended his mind to communicate with the trees.

"What's that? Four others appeared at the same time I did? One of them has a chainsaw? Take me to them!" he said, rushing to follow the frantic directions. If there was one universal truth about plant life, it was an inherent fear of chainsaws.

* * *

"Luna, come quick! The sensors have detected a strange energy reading from the forest," the man at the console said. He was broad shouldered and possessed ruby red goggles that allowed him to see in a variety of different spectrums. The woman he'd called was short to say the least. She was the leader of the motley group known as the Lunataks, despite the fact that her legs were largely useless and her voice could peel paint. No. She was leader because she rode the massive creature known as Amok.

"What kind of energy readings, Red Eye?" she asked, approaching the station.

Red Eye bit back the temptation to say "Strange ones," and instead said "I do not know, Luna. The sensors have never encountered anything like this."

"Hmm... We'd better send out someone to investigate. Tug Mug and Chilla are already out, tell them to go."

* * *

Negaduck was all about being in control. Both of the situation and the world in general, thus he did not like it when things didn't conform to his will. This strange forest that Dorkwing Dunderhead had sent him to was weird. The trees were an unnatural hue, and bees really shouldn't come in those sizes. In an attempt to wrest control in his favour, he'd whipped out a chainsaw. He wasn't sure where it came from, but it was always there when he needed it. (Well, except that one time, but he tried not to think of that.) He manhandled the machine menacingly and methodically, pausing only to gripe at his use of alliteration. Alliterations were a Darkwing thing, which made them bad.

"All right, you trees, send me back to St. Canard or taste my wrath!" he shouted.

"No Negaduck, don't!" Bushroot wailed, running up to the Fearsome Five's leader, being careful not to come too close to that swinging chainsaw.

"Are you telling me what to do, Bushy?" Negaduck asked, turning his full attention to the duck turned plant.

Bushroot had to think fast and talk even faster. "No, of course not, I would never do that. You're the boss. I just think that the trees might be able to help us better if you didn't chop them up," he said. "They'd even be willing to do so."

"Fear works better than kindness," Negaduck noted, but decided to humour Bushroot anyway. He could always try his bully tactics if kindness didn't work.

* * *

Bushroot led the way through the forest, collecting the rest of the group; Liquidator, one time canine tv personality whose body had been transformed into water. Megavolt, master and protector of all thing electric. Quackerjack, villainous clown with a penchant for practical jokes and killer toys. Like Quackerjack, he and Negaduck were duck species, while Megavolt was a kind of rodent species that lived in the other universe.

Finally the five broke free of the woods. The trees had been very helpful in describing the landscape, and suggested that there was a building not too far away where other people lived. These people might be able to help Bushroot's friends better than they.

As it turned out, they didn't need to go looking for these other people, the other people found them. A blue skinned woman dressed in white flew in on a small craft with a distinct crescent moon theme, and she was followed by the roundest individual Bushroot had ever seen. It was this one who spoke first. "Ducks?" he sounded incredulous, as though ducks were something entirely different where he was from.

"Not all of us are ducks, ma'am, in fact four out of five dentists agree that some of us are even better than ducks," Liquidator said, sounding almost offended at being lumped into the same species category as the others.

"Who cares. Either way, we eat well tonight," the round one said to the woman, eliciting a bit of a chuckle from her.

"Nobody, and I mean nobody, eats Negaduck!" their leader said, reaching into his cape for his chainsaw. Or worse. A part of him was inclined to let Negaduck slice and dice these strange people, but a niggling voice in the back of his head suggested that these people might be able to get them home. Besides, the trees wouldn't have suggested these folks if they weren't somewhat trustworthy. Unless the trees weren't trustworthy... No, that was impossible. Trees didn't lie. People lied.

Luckily he didn't need to intervene, as Quackerjack piped up. "Hey, that's a neat idea. A built in pogo stick." Soon the clown was within arm's length of the round one's lower half, in which were built three springlike legs. He'd had his eyes on them ever since the creature had bounced in.

"See Chilla? Someone thinks they're cool!" the round one said to the woman, clearly the Chilla he'd mentioned.

"What of it, Tug Mug? That one appears to have been sniffing glue," Chilla snapped, growing irritated at being out in the heat of the forest and lava fields.

Her condition did not go unnoticed by Liquidator. "Are you warm? Tired of spending your time in lava fields when you could be relaxing in comfort? Then send us home and you can do whatever it is you want," he said, equally uncomfortable in the heat, but more tolerant of it. Being made of water meant that he could survive equally well as steam. He just preferred not doing so.

"Pfah! Let's take them to Luna and let her deal with them. That one is right, it is hot out here," Chilla said.

Before Negaduck could object, Bushroot stepped forward. "If this Luna can send us home, we'll gladly go. Right Negaduck?"

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever."

* * *

The fifth Lunatak was a tall and lanky fellow named Alluro. He possessed a voice as smooth as silk and the ego to believe it would always get him what he wanted. At the moment he wanted to be in his laboratory examining these new creatures with every piece of equipment he had. They'd only been in Sky Tomb for twenty minutes and already they were more interesting than half the things on Third Earth. They'd encountered ducks before. The Moons of Plundarr were rife with them, a little known fact, but none were intelligent or as big as these appeared to be.

He'd encountered the living ooze once, a gelatinous greenish blob that enjoyed polluting anything he touched, but his control of his viscous state was nothing in comparison to the one who had introduced himself as Liquidator. And then there was the one called Megavolt. Sure he was whining about Sky Tomb's electronics being abused, but he had harnessed the power of electricity. A skill like that, if it could be tapped, would come in very handy. Yes, Alluro decided, that would be the one to cut open first.

"Alluro! Stop daydreaming!" Luna bellowed through his reverie. She'd obviously been giving him instructions and was now upset at having to repeat herself.

"That's okay, I'll fill him in on the way," Bushroot said, tugging at Alluro's arm. He dropped his voice to a whisper as they entered the elevator. "Just take me to your lab. I'll explain when we're there."

* * *

Luna scowled at her minions. They couldn't focus for a few minutes to sort out plans. Once the two leaders had determined that they were on the same side, it was agreed that they would work together on a solution to both their problems. A means to get home for the Fearsome Five, and the destruction of the Thundercats for the Lunataks. And once that vague idea had been established, the groups had wandered away from their bosses. Liquidator and Chilla were engrossed in conversation, demonstrating powers for one another. Red Eye was being interrogated by Megavolt about his glasses, and whether they wouldn't be better served taking a break. Tug Mug and Quackerjack had taken off down the halls in a bouncing contest. She was almost certain that she was being punished for something. The look on Negaduck's face suggested he felt the same.

"Good help is hard to find," they both said.

* * *

Sky Tomb was an impressively designed fortress. Certainly there was nothing like it in St. Canard. But the design alone wasn't enough to mask the flaws in it. The sheer amount of grime and dust coating the surfaces spoke of a lack of cleaning products. Suddenly Liquidator longed for the number of a good cleaning services and a chance to make a sales pitch. Why, with the amount of time it would take to clean this place he could clean out the Lunataks' bank account. Mind you, a good salesman knew his clients, and the Lunataks didn't seem the sort to really care about cleanliness; especially Tug Mug.

He and Chilla had bonded almost immediately, once they'd had a chance to settle down and put aside their initial feelings of distrust. Their similarly based abilities had led to a lengthy discussion on the best way to incapacitate and enemy. He even thought he detected a hint of romantic interest in his liquidy body. Once Alluro and Bushroot had left, however, the aquatic duo decided to pursue them and see what they were up to.

* * *

"So Luna thinks that some of your inventions might be able to send us home," Bushroot finished.

"Possibly. Travelling through dimensions isn't really my specialty, but I know the basic principles," Alluro swept grandly into his lab and glanced around at his assorted inventions. Perhaps the Skull Scope... it had drawn Mandora to its location once, perhaps the concept could be reversed...

"Is this what I think it is?" Bushroot asked excitedly, holding a bottle labelled 'multi-octane high potential maximum velocity fuel formula.'

"Very experimental, but we thought we could use it to get Sky Tomb into orbit. It hasn't been tested yet though," Alluro replied, moving to another invention. This one could convert lead into gold. He'd yet to find a use for it, but wondered if he could somehow incorporate the concept. Convert the Fearsome Five from one dimension to another.

"Pity, sounds like it would make for great plant food," Bushroot replied, setting the bottle back on a shelf. "What's an 'Egora'?"

"That box used to hold a valuable artifact. It's useless now. I keep it to remind myself of the price of underestimating anyone."

"Yes. He got beaten by the most pathetic creature on this planet. A bumbling imbecile named Snarf," Chilla chuckled, leaning on the doorframe, Liquidator standing just slightly behind her.

Alluro glowered in her direction. He hated remembering the incident wherein the littlest of the Thundercats had managed to send him running after defeating all the others. "What do you want, Chilla?" he snapped.

"I figured if you're going to be in charge of finding a way to send our allies home that you'll need help. He doesn't have a very good track record, you see," she said, mostly to Bushroot and Liquidator.

"Fine. Then help me go through my inventions."

* * *

When the two had grown bored with bouncing around the fortress, Tug Mug had suggested showing Quackerjack the special computer system he had hooked up in his room. Sure, most of it was pornographic in nature (including hours of footage from Sky Tomb's showers. There was a reason Tug Mug didn't bathe.) On the computer, too, were many video games though, all of which were new to the duck.

"Not as good as some games back home, but still pretty good," Quackerjack announced as his computer avatar blasted a feline to smithereens. "Even still, I might just copy these games and take them back to my world. I smell a chance to make some money!"

"Speaking of wheech, what's up weeth your friends? They're all weird," Tug Mug said. His accent took some getting used to, but it added a simpleness to his nature that belied the intelligence beneath. "I mean, a guy made of water, a walking salad bar, and two guys weeth similar names?"

"And then there's me, but I'm perfectly normal, right Mr. Bananabrain?" a plush banana with limbs and facial features was produced from some unknown recess of Quackerjack's person. His voice shifted and he held the banana up.

"Actually, he's nuttier than the rest of them together," it sounded like the banana said, though Tug Mug was certain he'd seen Quackerjack's lips move, even odder since he didn't think ducks had lips.

"Why you! You're just lucky I don't leave you here, traitor," Quackerjack's voice resumed its normal tone as the banana returned to whence it came. "*Ahem* As I was saying, sure we're a little nuts, but it's our insanity that unites us."

* * *

At Cat's Lair, Lion-O, the leader of the heroic Thundercats, was worried. Strange energy readings had been detected and relayed to him by the eldest Thundercat, a blind man named Lynx-O. Strange energy readings were rarely a positive sign, especially when they emanated from Dark Side. Decisive action was called for; he would tackle this alone and summon the others if he needed them. Striking it out on foot, Lion-O was off.

* * *

Idly Negaduck drummed his fingers on a computer console, envisioning the re-decorating he would do when he decided to take over this planet. Sure, he hadn't seen any evidence of riches, but there was bound to be something of value. Of course, Sky Tomb would be his new home. A fresh coat of paint on the walls, maybe some carpeting. Heck, these Thundercats themselves might make for a nice rug.

He was about to continue this train of thought when his eyes caught a glimpse of movement on the monitors. A musclebound redhead hopping from rock to rock, headed towards the strange forested region the Fearsome Five had originally appeared in. He knew, from Luna's descriptions, that this must be the famous Lion-O. Luna had wandered off with Red Eye, strangely leaving himself and Megavolt alone in the control room. That, in itself, was unusual. He would never leave anyone, especially someone he didn't know, in his control room. And he didn't even *have* a control room. "Come on Megavolt," he ordered, "we're going to get us a lion-skin rug."

* * *

Lion-O was found easily enough. Like any hero, he didn't feel the need for stealth, even in the heart of enemy territory. And he was talking to himself, tromping through the underbrush making so much noise he might as well have been carrying a big neon sign saying "Here I am!" Then again, Negaduck thought, with hair like that maybe stealth wasn't an option.

The sound of Megavolt's foot snapping a twig drew both Lion-O's attention and Negaduck's ire. Well, it didn't matter, it just moved up the time for the fight. "Ho, friend!" the Thundercat said, raising a hand in greeting.

"What did he call me?" Negaduck growled low.

"I am Lion-O, Lord of the Thundercats, protector of all goodness on Third Earth. I come in peace," he said. Negaduck hated him already, spouting smarmy words like they were confetti, thrusting his goodness and values on others.

"I am Negaduck and this is Megavolt. And we're here to squash all goodness on Third Earth," he retorted, producing a ray gun from the folds of his cloak. The feline actually had the nerve to look saddened at the prospect of violence. No one pitied Negaduck. Instantly the ray gun fired, the shots harmlessly bouncing into the trees as they ricocheted off Lion-O's sword. This was very disconcerting to the evil doer. Where he was from, swords had particular properties, and reflecting beams of energy certainly weren't among those. Still, if one weapon of destruction wouldn't cut it then perhaps a chainsaw would.

Judging by the look of surprise on Lion-O's face, people on this world couldn't pull objects out of subspace, or whatever other plot hole was used to produce weapons. "I don't want to hurt you, but I can't allow you to use that on me." Lion-O said. "Ho!"

Negaduck was about to protest the use of that word again when the blast of energy erupted from Lion-O's sword and caught him in the chest. He toppled backwards several metres and smacked into a tree, stars dancing around his head. Lion-O was getting ready for a second strike when finally Megavolt decided to do something other than stare slack-jawed at the feline. He drew the sword's energy into himself and immediately channelled it back out, scorching Lion-O with his own weapon. Lion-O tumbled to the ground unconscious.

"Not bad, Sparky," Negaduck said, brushing himself off and trying to decide how to spin the story of the fight to make himself sound better.

"Don't call me that," Megavolt snapped.

"I'll call you whatever I want. But for now, let's get this thing back to Sky Tomb. We can figure out how to finish him off later."

* * *

Having long grown bored with hanging around Alluro and Bushroot, Liquidator had wandered off claiming to be fatigued. Chilla could agree with his sentiment; when Alluro got going on one his scientific ramblings he could put people to sleep. She'd even used him once when she'd been suffering from insomnia. At the moment he was going over a book he'd borrowed off Mumm-Ra. There was mention of dimensional travel, but it was risky and required a high powered wizard. Likely, Mumm-Ra was the only one with the strength necessary to cast it, and his prices were always unreasonable.

Bushroot was happily going through a database on local fauna, seeing some similarities between Third Earth plant life and that around St. Canard. There'd been a reference to one of them in the spell book, which had made him wonder. Perhaps collecting a few seedlings to take back would be okay. He knew, better than most, that one had to be careful about such things to make sure the eco-system would be stable and not over run by Third Earth plants. Still, there were plenty of carnivorous plants here that he could use...

"I think this might be useful," Alluro said aloud, tapping a page. It was a spell that was simple to cast, the strength of magic drawn from the words rather than needing an external source. It would open a window to other dimensions. Things couldn't pass through it, but it was certainly a step in the right direction. At the very least it would help to attune them to the right dimension if they ever figured out a way of doing so.

* * *

Tug Mug had had the misfortune of being found by Luna. He'd just been walking out of his room, angry that Quackerjack had beaten him for the fifth time at 'bowling for Berbils,' just as Luna was riding Amok past. She'd complained about the state of the control room floor and ordered him to clean it up. He grabbed a mop and bucket full of water and went to work.

* * *

The crowds of people were cheering. St. Canard had been sent to the bottom of the ocean, its few surviving people were paying a fortune to have oxygen tanks and scuba gear. Liquidator smiled graciously, at them a bejewelled hand waving at them. At his side was Chilla, wearing a discounted oxygen tank.

As though his world was a pond that someone had thrown a pebble into, the scene rippled and he was in his bedroom, Chilla lounging on the bed. Sure, she looked a little less attractive wearing an oxygen mask, and kissing would be impossible, but there was more to sex than mere kissing, four out of five of his lovers agreed. "Come here you watery stud," she purred, her voice inexplicably audible through the water.

"Other lovers leaving you unsatisfied? Tired of having to finish the job yourself? Then try Liquidator!"

* * *

The world rippled around him again, in a most disappointing and irritating manner. It felt like someone had jammed a stake through his heart. Opening his eyes he realized it was no stake, it was a mop. And Chilla's pleasant beauty was replaced with Tug Mug's repulsiveness. He jumped out of the bucket and glowered nastily at the rotund Lunatak. "The Liquidator is no ordinary cleaning product. He slices, he dices, and he'll make mincemeat out of you for interrupting my pleasant dream," he said, forming his hands into knives.

Unfortunately for him, Tug Mug was never without his gravity carbine; a device capable of increasing or decreasing the weight of a target. Being turned weightless caused Liquidator to drift slowly up to the roof. "Let's see you make mincemeat of me now, heh heh heh," Tug Mug chortled.

"If anybody is going to hurt my men, it's me, tubbo," Negaduck said, as he and Megavolt conveniently entered the control room and dropping their burden. Lion-O hit the floor with a satisfying *thump* and remained motionless.

"Gee, thanks," Megavolt muttered under his breath.

"Tubbo? No one comments on my weight and gets away with it," Tug Mug said.

"No? Well, you don't just tip the scales, you tip the whole room. You're so fat you should have your own zip code. Stores say that they're 'all you can eat, unless you're Tug Mug,'" Negaduck said, goading the heavyset Lunatak to further anger. Before he could make another quip, Tug Mug had fired his carbine repeatedly, narrowly avoiding the two members of the Fearsome Five. Seeing that Tug Mug hadn't been hired for his marksmanship or his hygiene, Negaduck decided to end the farce. A giant mallet appeared from his cloak and cracked Tug Mug over the head, dropping him at once.

"What do you think you're doing?" Luna screeched, bursting in on Amok and with Red Eye in tow. The two had been in the area and had heard the commotion. Seeing Tug Mug unconscious riled her. He may have been an incompetent minion, but he was *her* incompetent minion.

"I'm taking over, effective immediately. Either get out of the way or join your friend."

And so the fight continued. Megavolt and Red Eye squared off in one corner while Luna and Amok dealt with Negaduck in another. "Once I get rid of Amok, Luna, beating you will be like taking candy from a baby. And believe me, that's easy. I've tried it," Negaduck said, surprised to see Amok's face light up with hope at his words. But which word had had that positive result? "Baby!" he tried, hopeful, "From!" Still no response. It wasn't easy to keep his concentration, with those big meat hooks swinging wildly in his direction. Surely a single swipe of Amok's massive paws and he'd be out.

Megavolt was in trouble. Red Eye's missiles looked fairly harmless, in fact the only person they'd ever injured before was Red Eye himself, but he suspected they would work suitably well on him if he didn't keep moving. What he failed to realize was that Red Eye wasn't really aiming *at* him, but directing him backwards towards where Liquidator was still struggling to regain his footing.

"Look out, Megavolt!" Liquidator said, suddenly realizing what was about to happen. The warning came too late. The two collided in a barrage of sparks, rendering the two unconscious.

"Candy!" Negaduck shouted, pleased when the brutish Amok stopped for a moment. So, the fiendish duck villain thought to himself, that's his weakness. Well, he didn't have any candy on him, but he did have something that might sate his sweet tooth. Pies. They were a staple of cartoon comedy, and producing two had the desired effect. Amok's eyes bulged and he snatched up the pies while Negaduck snatched up Luna, holding her as a shield in case Red Eye got any brilliant ideas.

"Amok! Am... URF!" Negaduck's hat went into Luna's rather large mouth to prevent further cries for help.

"There. Now Red Eye, you're going to surrender or your boss here gets it."

The Lunatak scoffed. "As if I care what happens to Luna. Now that Amok is neutralized I don't need to worry about her anymore."

"Ha! A man after my own heart. I could use a guy like you on my team and... where's the rest of my team?" He checked the monitors and saw the four who weren't present walking in the direction of the control room. "Great, more violence," he chuckled. He would have rubbed his hands together, but they were still full of Luna.

The door swished open and the newcomers took in the sight before them. Liquidator and Megavolt unconscious, Luna held aloft by Negaduck, Amok eating pie, Lion-O on the floor, and Red Eye doing nothing in particular. They leapt to face one another, glaring daggers. No one was sure who had betrayed who, but they were determined to be the victors in this contest. A pitched battle was about to break out, except that a cloud of purple smoke began filling the room. "I am the terror that quacks in the night. I am the... Ack!" Red Eye's missile struck Darkwing in the chest, knocking him down from his perch, a strange gadget bouncing from his hands.

"Another duck? Friend of yours?" Red Eye asked walking over and picking him up by the scruff of his neck.

"Just my archenemy Darkwing Dunderhead," Negaduck sneered.

"This is the one that's given you trouble? I beat him in two seconds," Red Eye said, astonished.

"Yeah, well, I beat your archenemy in less than that," Negaduck said, gesturing to Lion-O's prone form.

This angered both sides and a fierce battle erupted again. Lunatak battled Fearsome Five, completely oblivious to the fact that Lion-O was starting to rouse. The Lord of the Thundercats crawled over to where Darkwing lay, checking for a pulse. Luckily the purple clad crime fighter was still alive. "The gizmo," Darkwing whispered.

Lion-O looked at the boxy thing. It had two buttons on it, and was labelled 'dimensional transport.' That sounded simple enough, especially if he was understanding what Darkwing was implying. Sincerely hoping that he was pushing the right button, Lion-O pointed it at Bushroot and pressed the green button. Instantly the plant based villain vanished, causing Chilla's ice breath to hit Red Eye instead. Liquidator, Negaduck, Megavolt, and Quackerjack were next in quick succession. He handed the control box to Darkwing and pointed it at the duck.

Once Darkwing disappeared, Lion-O realized he had a fairly clear path out. Alluro had been cornered by Quackerjack's mechanical teeth, and Chilla was busy trying to free Red Eye from his icy prison. With everyone distracted or beaten, Lion-O returned home without bother.

* * *

Darkwing looked around. This wasn't St. Canard. He was pretty sure of that. While there were many different species in the city, multi coloured bears on a cloudlike surface didn't seem right. "Maybe this device is broken," he muttered.


End file.
